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Never talked to me never played with me. When I was 7 he started coming into my room at night and fondle me, he eventually made me give him oral and then eventually vaginally penetrated me.

It was agony at first, I bled but he just pumped away. I didn't tell my parents, I don't know why, embarrassment, or maybe I liked the attention from my brother.

This is why I'm confessing. I eventually began to enjoy it. Not at first, it stopped being painful after the 3rd or 4th time.

He came into my room a lot. It makes me sick to think about it, my brother using his little sister for sex. He made me try all these weird positions he learned from porn, he liked finishing inside me.

He went away for college and came back for spring break when I was 12 I guess. I locked my door but he got in anyway.

He didn't do his usual spit on his hand and lube up and go, he went down on me this time. I had never had an orgasm before. After I came he entered me.

I guess he liked the way it felt when I was pleasured down there, because he came into my room every night he was home and did the same thing. I was sad when he went back to school.

He didn't come back over the summer break but did for Christmas. We resumed like rabbits. He got a girlfriend and switched schools, I didn't see him again until I was much older.

It makes me sick to think about it. We've never spoken about it, we don't really speak at all. I think he thinks I'll tell. Yes, this will most definitely happen to somebody else probably more than one person unless you do something about it.

It's a crime that creates victims like you, and it too often goes unreported for long periods of time. Prevent others' lives being ruined - do the right thing and report him to authorities.

That's entirely possible. The story needs to be out, for the sake of his kids at the very least.

I don't think you can assert that on speculation unless you have evidence that the 2 are correlated. You are correct, since it has gone on for this long I think it would be wise to wait until that situation arises heh , if it ever does OP needs to keep an eye on it though.

I'd argue that this is more a general cause for concern and not directly related to her being a child at the time, as he likely had been one a short time before as well.

More an indicator of a pathological lack of empathy etc than of pedophilia, really. Never feel bad for enjoying rape.

You can't control what feels good to your body. And considering the age it started, you didn't even understand what he was doing anyway. You become used to it, it becomes something to rely on, which further helps the enjoyment.

However, if I were you, I would go to the police. Sexual experimentation between siblings happens often, but not to the extend of what he did.

He sounds like a horrible person. A guy completely without compassion, not caring that he hurts someone as long as he gets his 2 minutes of fun. I have no doubts a guy like that will find more victims.

Try to stop him from making more victims, please. Her attachment may be due to high levels of Oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

Here is an article about it. Here's a link to the Reddit discussion. Oxytocin makes it hard for abused victims to get away from their abuser according to the study.

This is all due to biological processes beyong the real of OP's control. Indeed, she should not feel ashamed. Instead, she should talk to her closest parent and discuss the subject.

Her brother might abuse others, especially if he has children and is a threat to both society and himself. He should be prevented from interacting with vulnerable people children, women, disabled etc.

You need to be brave OP. It will be hard to expose your brother's abuse to your parents but you must do it.

I hope you can heal these emotional wounds and I wish you all the best in the future. Stay strong! You may want to seek rape counseling or therapy to deal with the feelings you have about this.

Also, I don't know how much time has passed, but if it's an option, you may want to come forward about what he did to you.

Unless you have proof, it's possible nothing will come of it, but I would really worry about him having kids and doing the same thing to them.

As for enjoying it, don't feel bad. It's not at all uncommon. Your body will react to sexual stimuli regardless of whether you want it or not.

On top of that, with him being so much older and with the abuse going on for so long, it's expected for you to grow to accept, enjoy, and even miss it.

There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, and there's nothing wrong with you. He's the guilty one, not you. Please talk to your parents about this.

Whatever issues you and him may have will only chip away at both of you and any future people he comes in contact with. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.

Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Sorry if the phrasing here sounds really weird, literally the first time i have ever wrote about this, actually made this account 15 mins ago to ask if about serious relationships with siblings to see if anyone else has the same sort of life but since i'm a bit of a wimp and your post is new thought i would just post here instead.

I've been in a sexual relationship with my fraternal twin sister for around a year, we were 17 when we started and it really wasn't a moment that then led to full on sex or anything like that the first sexual contact i would say we had was pretty much just a passionate hug.

We developed in terms of how we expressed our feelings so to speak never had a girlfriend before this, she had a boyfriend for a few weeks but it wasn't serious over a fairly long period and had sex around 3 months after we started having more than a typical sibling relationship.

I've never been away from her for extended periods which i know is typically a common cause of people finding close relatives attractive, in terms of our family structure my father passed away when i was young my mother travels a lot for work so she's out of the house for 3 weeks out of 4.

Growing up we were largely looked after by my older half sister and her husband. Apart from a few things which is nothing millions of other kids don't go through we had a pretty normal childhood, no deep rooted trauma or anything like that.

When I was in 2nd grade, we had a sleepover at my cousin's house. She was 2 years older than me and I really looked up to her.

I pretty much did anything she said. It was pretty late and we were still up watching tv when she puts on her father's porn.

Hardcore stuff. I had never seen anything like that before. She wanted to imitate the actors so we took off our clothes and started acting out what they were doing.

I remember being a little boy and thinking how awesome everything was but I technically lost my virginity when I was 7. Not cool.

I'm not messed up from it. It wasn't the last time we did it either. It was just dangerous and irresponsible.

People don't judge like you think. My abuse lasted fourteen years I thought for sure I would be judged by not stopping it. But I was scared, he went from saying all daddys do it to I will kill your family, to get me to keep the secret.

I hope this helps you. Keep telling your story here; We have a blog section! I use it all the time, slowly getting my story out! I would recommend a therapist!

Any girl groups dealing with psych stuff in the area you can join! Something to look into! Your not alone! Great job telling your story! Give the blog section a try!

Now what? It is normal, God made this thing called sex for pleasure it is sacred for adults consensually. I know it is a process for people like us to realize that.

I would say stay the course in therapy in gets better you will heal enough that you will have power of what you stated your feelings in this post.

Blog of system map. Don't feel guilty. In a way I wish you would post your story on the Paraphilia thread under Sexual where some pro-contact pedophiles say kids enjoy sex, and it's all society's fault they feel guilty about it later.

I don't think the pro-contacts ever come to the Abuse forum or ever read any of our stories. I went through a similar experience. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel clean but I hold on to the thought that one day I will find a partner who is so loving and caring that my anxieties about sex will ease.

Post here, more importantly - talk to a good therapist. You liked it, because - as others said - it's a natural response.

Often survivors feel guilty and confused because of that.

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Stay awhile and listen. But of course if you're an indie gamer looking for things about indie gaming, this place also welcomes you.

After all, every gamer is a potential indie developer! In Phantom Forces, two teams Phantoms and Ghosts , fight against one another to prove their dominance in an ever-growing selection of guns, maps, and gamemodes.

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Esperanto is a widely spoken universal language. It's one of the easiest languages to learn! Do you want anyone close to you to ever go through what you did?

Do the right thing and talk to your parents. Get a therapist. And unfortunately seek proper action against your brother. It will hurt and it will definitely be a difficult struggle for you but it has to be done.

For everyone's sake. I can't believe what I just read. This made me physically ill. Your brother is the most terrible person there is and he will continue to do this to other people unless he gets help.

Be forewarned, you may need serious counseling or your guilt will manifest itself in terrible ways. I'm sorry that happened to you.

My brother did similar things to me between the ages of 9 and You need to talk to someone professional so that you can start healing.

He could've been the victim at some point too. Its a vicious cycle. Talk to him about it, even if its just to get him help and save another child.

I strongly disagree. I don't care if he has once been a victim. He is a rapist now. Save another child by turning him in, not by talking to him. Let me clarify - talk to him in the sense, ask him if he was a victim.

If he was, you need to find the source. Ask him if he was someone else can ask if that is safer , and find out where it started.

I think that it's just a natural physiological response to hearing sexual activity described by a stranger. Don't feel too bad about it.

You are absolutely right. I guess with it being the internet, I sometimes forget that these are experiences from actual people.

I don't know what the age difference is, but what puts this into the category of rape is how he went about it.

This is more than just sexual experimentation. This was brutal. He fucked her while she was bleeding and in pain, apparently not caring about her even the slightest bit.

Her brother is very disturbed. I agree with the other poster. I've heard stories of similar aged siblings experimenting together.

This however sounds like victimization. The thing no one is asking here is are going actually OK is your life destroyed?

I'm sorry you had to put up with this. Don't feel any guilt yourself for this. You had approximately zero control on the situation.

Typically when this sort of thing happens it can make normal relationships difficult. Kids in particular tend to act out what they learned in inappropriate ways.

Definitely talk about this. With a counselor, with your brother, your parents maybe, police maybe? I really hope that it's just a crazy growing up experience, but almost always this stuff leaves marks.

Meaning you or he might not be able to get past it and it could mess up your futures or someone else's. Might have been mentioned but there is also something called normalization or something like that.

It's basically when your mind decides that this weird and potentially terrible thing is normal all of a sudden. I can't say I am an expert on why and how this happens but victims of long term sexual abuse tends to cope with their situation by doing this.

It's possible you did this and with the terrible things happening being "normal" it's not weird the sex was enjoyable.

So anyway. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Children are incredibly sheltered, innocent of life experience, and vulnerable to predators like you once were.

Get justice for yourself. Stop him before he has kids, please. A discussion? This isn't a situation of mutual sibling incest, this is a fucked up case of repeated rape over a long period of time.

There is no discussion to be had here, that guy needs to be behind bars or else he is going to repeat himself if he hasn't already.

Not everything needs to be a confrontation. It depends on what she wants to happen. I'm not saying she wasn't raped or there should not be consequences but initially, maybe she shouldhave a talk with him.

From there depending on what happens or what she wants, other things can occur. Rape in itself is a confrontation. Now it's her turn to make sure she gets the justice she feels she needs.

She will get closure this way and it will keep him from doing it to other children. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

All rights reserved. Want to join? Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a Confession. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit.

Your confession must be an act you committed. If your submission does not contain a confession it will be removed. An unpopular opinion is not a confession.

Regardless of whatever unpopular opinion you hold, it doesn't classify here as a confession. You haven't done anything wrong, so to speak, so it isn't technically a confession.

Your sexual exploration is not a confession; it's a part of finding out who you are. Despite our confessional theme, we don't find consensual sexual exploits sinful.

Be Specific All confessions must be titled specifically! Ideally, your title is a TL;DR of your post. Even if your submission contains a confession, relationship-based confessions will be removed.

We reserve the right to remove any posts referencing relationships, not just those seeking relationship advice.

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